I'm mad at you.

If only I could just tell him why. I just can't get myself to explain this to him. That it's important for him to actually talk to me. For him to tell me what's going on in his life. I actually care and I actually want to hear it. But I can't go on in a relationship (long distance) where I don't talk to him. That in no way makes sense. And I'm tired of being the only one that's trying.

Well, he's gonna have to chase after me, because that's the only way right now that I'll know if he's actually interested. Dang, it's almost to our year mark too.

Dragon Slayer.

I had a dark age. Where all I wanted was light.

But there was none.

I was trapped in a tower surrounded by monsters and guarded by dragons.

I lost all hope that there ever would be light so I settled in the darkness.

Until the month of August.

When the strength built inside of me & and I realized that I could find

the light on my own.

I battled my own monsters.

And slayed my own dragons.

When I went to clean my sword, I saw it-

the light.

That was waiting for me at the end of the tunnel.

My struggle was worth it.

My battle is over.

I don't know guys, I'm just tired and bored.

Can't sleep... so drowsy...

Can't sleep... so so so tired but I can't sleep...gahhhhh
had a good day though
got to see my frans
got to take some pictures
got...
guys Im so tired
im like out of my mind
allmythoughtsarestartingtoblurtogether
[ioolkj[nghj]ojm'[nkjno[njo






















*goodnight*

Soul Searcher.

I don't what my deal has been lately but I've been uber depressed. I think I might just have a lot of negative energies in my life and it's seriously bringing me down. I thought staying at home for a week or two and taking care of my mom would be like a self-searching journey. Like I'd figure out who I was or what I was doing with my life. Instead I've been feeling guilty, lonely, bored, and depressed. Maybe I need to branch out and do more soul searching things outside. But by myself- I need to get away from Tori and her negative attitude. Like honestly, I forgot what it felt like to hang out with people that I actually look forward to being around. Maybe I've just outgrown her...

I don't know.

I just need to make a lot of changes and I need to figure out where I need to start.

When you're sad...

Today, Logan and his father got into a fight. His father attacked him and threw him on the ground. Logan didn't retaliate (which is good because if so, he wouldn't have a home right now). He's nineteen years old now and he can leave whenever he wants- the house, I mean- but I honestly don't think he's made any efforts to leave at all. He constantly talks about how much he hates it there but when I suggest leaving, he gets touchy about the subject.

Anything to do with his father he gets touchy. He'll shut down and stop talking to me for days- that's what he's doing now.

There are some things about Logan, that I just don't know about. It's probably because I haven't really been able to get to know him. Though it's been a year, what we have really isn't a relationship. It's the waiting for a relationship. And I don't care how long I have to wait to be with him- he's gonna do what's best for him and I'm gonna do what's best for me.

I just wish that he would actually do what's best for him.

I just hate this new grown up world that I've been thrown into.

And I don't have anyone to talk to it about. My only best-friends in the world are so self-obsessed that they won't stop to listen to my problems. My mother is so 'all-knowing' all the damn time, and she's always so set to make sure that she knows everything about everything that I can't even finish a sentence without her correcting me.

I guess all I have is you guys.

I just wish you talked back.



damn... I'm needy.