Chain reaction.

I've attended the Rachel's challenge. I've accepted it. Rachel was the first to be shot in Columbine. Rachel was also the sweetest person on the face of this earth. She believed that kindness could change the world. She died of the age of 17. She always knew she was going to die young but she wanted to change the world. She wrote an essay with 4 challenges: To eliminate prejudice, set goals to greatness, be kind, and start a chain reaction. I believe that one good deed could start a chain reaction that might just save lives. The truth is that Columbine with the death of 13 people is a tragic story. Most people might believe that it is a tragic ending. But it's not the ending for the people that died that day. Their death caused America to go into shock and to really start noticing what was going on around us. I truly believe that if Rachel had not died, the world would not be the same. Rachel, you DID make a difference.

Big girl (:

I love this song. Not because I'm a 'big girl'. I'm a size 6 but I'm built like a freaking line backer. So I'm 'big' but in a different way. One thing to remember that you can be big and beautiful. Anything is beautiful! But PLEASE don't confuse Big and Beautiful with Fat and Obese (because beautiful or not if your weight affects your health that's a completely different story.) What I like about this song is that he's kinda saying EVERYONE is beautiful. Not just the big girls, not just the skinny girls. Everyone. Just saying...Lol

Fate: The REAL reason why Romeo and Juliet died.

Fate plays a big role in the ending of this story. Romeo and Juliet are described as ‘star-crossed lovers’ meaning that fate wanted this story to happen the way it did. If the families hadn’t hated each other Romeo and Juliet wouldn’t have to secretly marry. If Friar John had gone a different route, he would not have been Quarantined and the letter would've gotten to Romeo on time. If the Apothecary had a little more money he would not have sold the poison to Romeo. If Romeo waited a minute before drinking the poison he would realize that Juliet was not really dead. If all this happened the story would be different. As Romeo’s dream foreshadowed “I fear, too early: for my mind misgives, Some consequence yet hanging in the stars, Shall bitterly begin his fearful date, With this night's revels and expire the term, Of a despised life closed in my breast, By some vile forfeit of untimely death.”
While I believe that the families are very much to blame for the deaths of Romeo and Juliet, I believe that fate is the most responsible. Everything was interconnected so it seems as if it were ‘written in the stars’ that they were destined for this tragic ending.

THAT was a excerpt of my English project from a couple of weeks ago. I got a 95 (would've gotten a 100 if it was double spaced). A couple weeks ago the thought of fate wasn't so important to me but now it seems like everything. Here's a little recap of Wednesday-Sunday:

Like maybe if I paid more attention to Jake, he would've never been with her. If I told him my feelings, he wouldn't have to wonder. Maybe if Travy hadn't asked, Jake wouldn't have said he liked me. Maybe if I actually went to the pep rally I would never have started crushing on him. If my cousin hadn't had a rebel phase he wouldn't have made me crush harder. And maybe if I had left a couple minutes later I wouldn't see him and his girlfriend together. Maybe I wouldn't see him smiling like crazy. And maybe I wouldn't feel happy for him, but bad for me. And maybe I could've saved my breath and maybe I could've saved my time.
It's seriously strange how life is so interconnected. Maybe it's part of my fate to 'accidentally' push him down the stairs...haha.
Well he has a new girlfriend. It's actually an 'old girlfriend'. They dated for 5 months last year...as Jake said and quote "I will not mess it up this time."
Well you sort of messed it up with one person Jake.

I wonder if I'm susposed to happy.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm meant to be happy. Maybe I was born to be a hermet that owns 12 cats and only comes outside at night. When I get a guy for a second I ruin it. Well I'm not sure if I exactly 'ruined' it but I made myself look like an idiot. I saw Jake in the hallway. He actually ran up to me, slammed into my side and said "Found ya!" I felt as if my heart stopped beating. We walked in the hallway for a second before I HAD to go up the stairs. I told him I had to go as I walked up the stairs...he just looked at me awkwardly. I really wanted him to follow me because we have a class on the same floor but he didn't. He walked all the way to the other stairs. Maybe he realized how much of a loser I am and gave up.
Another problem: he's grounded which means no Facebook, no texting.
just feel stupid...

All about Jake...

^Picture of Jackson Rathbone (JSYK)^

Jake.
I'm sure that you guys have noticed my new crush on 'Jake'. That is not his real name. I might say his real name if we...ya know....END UP TOGETHER! lol.
(I'm actually texting him as we speak)

The History.
I thought I should tell you guys a little back story. I've known Jake since the 6th grade when his little sister and my little cousin were in the pee-wee cheerleading together.

In the 7th grade when 'dating' became the new, awesome thing (of course no one knew what they were doing) . I thought he was cute (kinda reminded me of a darker haired Zac Efron). He went to homecoming with my friend Darlene.

In 8th grade we had an English class together and I used to run away from him in the hallway. Because I thought he was weird. He went out with Darlene again (before she dumped him for her ex). I talked to him a little more after that. He stopped talking to Darlene.
In 9th grade (this year). He randomly came up and hugged me (tightly and for a VERY long time). Ever since then I've been texting him.

The 6th graders and the creepers.
I've liked him more since he actually saw my cousin at a concert. She's a 6th grader and she and her friend were ALONE. Apparently "There was some creeper guys there talking to us." as my cousin put it. She told me "Then Jake told them to leave us alone...it was SO cool. Then he stayed with us for the rest of the concert....DONT TELL MY MOM I WAS THERE ALONE!"

After that my crush has become more dominate. I've been texting him constantly. Travy found out that I like him and threatens to tell Jake almost every day.

Today...
I looked SUPER bad (as in my hair looked awful, I broke out...I think it's my time of the month :/) ANYWAY! When school let out I was really hoping I wouldn't see him. I had made through the entire day without him seeing me like that I only needed a couple more steps to my mom's car. When I stepped outside I saw Jake walking a couple feet in front of me looking around (it was a lot earlier then he usually is out). I just prayed that he wouldn't turn around and see me. He pulled out his phone and began to text someone. My phone vibrated. It was a simple 'hey :)' Message. I walked to the car without him seeing me.
The text went like this:

Me:Hey
Him: What's up?
Him (a couple seconds later): I didn't see you at school today :/
Me: I think I saw you
Him: Why didn't you say Hi? D:
Me(lying again): You were far away
Him: Well then I'm finding you tomorrow.
Me: :)

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I MUST tell Maggie and Travy and my mum!