I wonder if I'm susposed to happy.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm meant to be happy. Maybe I was born to be a hermet that owns 12 cats and only comes outside at night. When I get a guy for a second I ruin it. Well I'm not sure if I exactly 'ruined' it but I made myself look like an idiot. I saw Jake in the hallway. He actually ran up to me, slammed into my side and said "Found ya!" I felt as if my heart stopped beating. We walked in the hallway for a second before I HAD to go up the stairs. I told him I had to go as I walked up the stairs...he just looked at me awkwardly. I really wanted him to follow me because we have a class on the same floor but he didn't. He walked all the way to the other stairs. Maybe he realized how much of a loser I am and gave up.
Another problem: he's grounded which means no Facebook, no texting.
just feel stupid...