These dreams?

^I really like this song^

People say that dreams are like windows to the conscience. They can tell things about yourself that even you don't know. I keep having these dreams about Jake...it's weird. It's not like I loved him. But why is he stuck in my mind? I guess when a person is stuck in your mind long enough, it takes a while for them to get out.

It's 6:50 p.m. on Monday. I feel asleep on the couch. I've been having dreams about Jake for a while. This time we were at Six Flags! Holiday in the park. We were there with my little cousins and we watched them when they got on roller coasters? It really was a pointless dream! I would really love to stop having them as in....RIGHT NOW. The messed up part is that I don't think about him before I go to sleep, I barely think of him at all anymore. I HATE my dreams right now. YOU SUCK!

Why can't my conscience be like Jiminy Cricket? That would be so amazing. Having a little cricket singing whats right and wrong.......

ANYWAY we must solve this boy issue. Since Jake is out of the picture I must find a new guy. Lets see....Todd is way over. You ask why? Well...I just kind of grew out of him. Scott dated the most 'flirty' girl in school...so I've decided to give myself a complete boy makeover.
No more Todds, Jakes, or Scotts...

I need more Green Shirt guys, or Werewolf Boy guys or Austin 'Nice Guy From Vet' guys... well looks like I'm going to have to work hard to get them XD

It DOESN'T HELP!!

So my mom was never nervous to give me the 'birds and bees' convo. It happened in 4th grade...I was like "...okay..." She didn't know that I had already learned that from the TV show FRIENDS. But she thinks that we have this great relationship where we can talk about anything...WRONG. Okay, it's important to talk to your kids about sex. But I believe that you should only tell them the things they ask about (no details) and ONLY if they ask. My mom practically forces me to listen to her crazy babbling. I know when you guys were kids you didn't have all this but we have this thing called the INTERNET. That gives us information that you don't have to tell us. EVERYTHING you were 'teaching' me today mom I HAVE LEARNED ON FORUMS AT GURL.COM (plug..it's a great website check it out gurl.com).
It's just awkward to hear it coming from your mouth...

Drive in MANIA!!

So I went to the Drive in last night (with my parents, lame right?) and we watched Harry Potter and The Dealthly Hallows part 1. AND IT WAS FREAKING AMAZING and annoying at the same time. *SLIGHT SPOILER ALERT* Alright so I'm not going reveal that much about the movie (because I'm not going to ruin it for anyone)
but Ron and Hermionie (I can't spell her name sorry...) STILL have not gotten together! It really is getting annoying! Really, I mean really guys? Ron freaking moaned your name is his sleep in the last movie and you still wonder if he loves you or not?! Really?! Oh and Harry and Jenny are SUPER cute in this movie! They were kissing in the Wesley's kitchen, just minding their own business when George walks in quietly. George just gets some tea (with what looks like a spoon sticking out of his ear....it's a long story) and watches them until they notice. Finally Jenny notices them and they stop. George just says "Good morning..." with this knowing look. I laughed my butt off.
Okay so they go into hiding and find a fulcrox. They each take turns wearing it around their necks because for some reason it makes you really irritable. We ALL know that Harry and Hermionie (??) lol have always been close. Ron had the fulcrox across his neck all day and started noticing all the little things as if Hermionie and Harry had this secret relationship. So he gets super pissed and leaves. Then HE COMES BACK (after they switched their hiding place like 30 times)! Yeah, I'm not telling you how he found them but he did. He also saves Harry's life and destroys the fulcrox. Hermionie still threatens to kill Ron for leaving.


She goes "You think that does anything to the fact that you left?"


Ron says "Well, I don't know! I did just save Harry's life and destroy a fulcrox!!!"


Hermionie charges toward Harry "Harry where is my wand?"

Harry goes "I don't know. I DON'T KNOW!" and ran away from her. lol I love it when Harry freaks out.


The story of Dealthly Hallows was pretty cool too. It was about 3 brothers and Death. And the most powerful wand and a stone that brings people back to life and a cloak of invisiblity...it was very well thought out.




So....Ron was pretty cute in this movie. I'm super late right? There are tons of Wesley fans out there I'm sure. For some reason he was REALLY cute in this movie. Maybe he was working out or something? Whatever it was, it was extremely attractive. Haha compared to Shane Dawson and Shaun White, he was one of the cutest gingers I have ever seen XD.





WATCH THE MOVIE!!! IT'S GREAT!!

PLACES I WANT TO GO:

Happy Thanksgiving.

Aloha guys! Well I just had my Thanksgiving dinner (at 2:00 p.m.?) and I ate way too much! I feel like I'm going to blow up! Nothing all that interesting happened. Just wanted to wish you guys a Happy Thanksgiving. And you should remember all the things you're thankful for.

Things I'm thankful for:

1.) My crazy family.

2.) My friends.

3.) The fact that the world

hasn't made me crazy enough

to stab someone yet.

4.) Health.

5.) ...things like that.

WOW!!

This was amazing! I went to hang out with my friend Liz. It was mostly boring because we went to the movie theater (we saw Tangled lol). Liz's boyfriend joined us so I was kinda like the third wheel. When Liz's mom came to pick us up after the movie, Brad (that's his name) secretly gave Liz something. When I asked her what it was she told me she wouldn't say.
We get Liz's house and as soon as we get into her room she slams the door shut. She digs in her bag and gives me this black book and says "READ IT!" with this CRAZY face.
I'm like "Okay..." AND OH MY GOSH IT WAS AMAZING!
I open the first page and it says
'To: Cassidy, From: You'll have to figure it out'

On the next page it said 'SORRY' in big letters. There was a list 'Sorry for leading you on, sorry for hurting your feelings, sorry for not telling you.' I seriously had no idea who this was from. Then on the other page it said 'I LIKE' there was another list 'I like your hair, I like how honest you are, I like how beautiful you are, I like your music that makes me want to go hug strangers....' at that second my heart stops "JAKE?!" I screamed. Liz nodded.
'I like you more then her, I like you even though you ignore me now...' It said. On the last page it had a giant heart and a phone number.

Out of nowhere Liz takes out her phone saying "I CAN'T WAIT!" She dials the number.
"Hello?" Jakes voice sounded and....

I WOKE UP!!!! I FREAKING WOKE UP! IT WAS ALL A DREAM! I ALMOST CRIED WHEN I REALIZED THAT! :( Sorry to disapoint guys. The messed up part is that I was ALMOST over Jake and then I had this dream....

Why is there an obsession?!

This guy right here is MIKA. And for some strange reason he is VERY ATTRACTIVE TO ME! I have NO idea why! It's not like he's the most handsome in the world because he's really not (that's Johnny Depp lol). But oh my goodness something about this guy is just...sexy? I've never used that word before on my blog... But something about this guy is very VERY attractive! One of my last posts was a song he did called 'Big girl(you are beautiful)' and I thought he very cute there too (especially at 2:40 for some reason lol *watch it*).

This guy is very...strange to say the least. When I first saw one of his music videos I said "Oh, he's gay," right away. Because.....well maybe you should watch it yourself.

Um...so yeah. Do you get why I thought he's gay now?? But he's not...well not completely. He's Bi. Which kinda made me feel weird. Because I only have one Bi friend (but he likes guys more then girls) so I'm not around a lot of different bi people but then I realized a couple things:

#1- Who cares if he's bi? He's still really cute and looks like he'd be fun to hang out with.
#2- He's a celebrity AND he's about 10 years older then me. It's not like I'll ever meet him.
#3-Who cares if he's bi? that doesn't mean he has a disease or anything.

Anyway so that solved my first problem But I'm still wondering why I'm so attracted to him? Maybe it's the accent??

This song broke my heart...

LOOKS LIKE I'VE FOUND MY NEW OBSESSION!

Chain reaction.

I've attended the Rachel's challenge. I've accepted it. Rachel was the first to be shot in Columbine. Rachel was also the sweetest person on the face of this earth. She believed that kindness could change the world. She died of the age of 17. She always knew she was going to die young but she wanted to change the world. She wrote an essay with 4 challenges: To eliminate prejudice, set goals to greatness, be kind, and start a chain reaction. I believe that one good deed could start a chain reaction that might just save lives. The truth is that Columbine with the death of 13 people is a tragic story. Most people might believe that it is a tragic ending. But it's not the ending for the people that died that day. Their death caused America to go into shock and to really start noticing what was going on around us. I truly believe that if Rachel had not died, the world would not be the same. Rachel, you DID make a difference.

Big girl (:

I love this song. Not because I'm a 'big girl'. I'm a size 6 but I'm built like a freaking line backer. So I'm 'big' but in a different way. One thing to remember that you can be big and beautiful. Anything is beautiful! But PLEASE don't confuse Big and Beautiful with Fat and Obese (because beautiful or not if your weight affects your health that's a completely different story.) What I like about this song is that he's kinda saying EVERYONE is beautiful. Not just the big girls, not just the skinny girls. Everyone. Just saying...Lol

Fate: The REAL reason why Romeo and Juliet died.

Fate plays a big role in the ending of this story. Romeo and Juliet are described as ‘star-crossed lovers’ meaning that fate wanted this story to happen the way it did. If the families hadn’t hated each other Romeo and Juliet wouldn’t have to secretly marry. If Friar John had gone a different route, he would not have been Quarantined and the letter would've gotten to Romeo on time. If the Apothecary had a little more money he would not have sold the poison to Romeo. If Romeo waited a minute before drinking the poison he would realize that Juliet was not really dead. If all this happened the story would be different. As Romeo’s dream foreshadowed “I fear, too early: for my mind misgives, Some consequence yet hanging in the stars, Shall bitterly begin his fearful date, With this night's revels and expire the term, Of a despised life closed in my breast, By some vile forfeit of untimely death.”
While I believe that the families are very much to blame for the deaths of Romeo and Juliet, I believe that fate is the most responsible. Everything was interconnected so it seems as if it were ‘written in the stars’ that they were destined for this tragic ending.

THAT was a excerpt of my English project from a couple of weeks ago. I got a 95 (would've gotten a 100 if it was double spaced). A couple weeks ago the thought of fate wasn't so important to me but now it seems like everything. Here's a little recap of Wednesday-Sunday:

Like maybe if I paid more attention to Jake, he would've never been with her. If I told him my feelings, he wouldn't have to wonder. Maybe if Travy hadn't asked, Jake wouldn't have said he liked me. Maybe if I actually went to the pep rally I would never have started crushing on him. If my cousin hadn't had a rebel phase he wouldn't have made me crush harder. And maybe if I had left a couple minutes later I wouldn't see him and his girlfriend together. Maybe I wouldn't see him smiling like crazy. And maybe I wouldn't feel happy for him, but bad for me. And maybe I could've saved my breath and maybe I could've saved my time.
It's seriously strange how life is so interconnected. Maybe it's part of my fate to 'accidentally' push him down the stairs...haha.
Well he has a new girlfriend. It's actually an 'old girlfriend'. They dated for 5 months last year...as Jake said and quote "I will not mess it up this time."
Well you sort of messed it up with one person Jake.

I wonder if I'm susposed to happy.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm meant to be happy. Maybe I was born to be a hermet that owns 12 cats and only comes outside at night. When I get a guy for a second I ruin it. Well I'm not sure if I exactly 'ruined' it but I made myself look like an idiot. I saw Jake in the hallway. He actually ran up to me, slammed into my side and said "Found ya!" I felt as if my heart stopped beating. We walked in the hallway for a second before I HAD to go up the stairs. I told him I had to go as I walked up the stairs...he just looked at me awkwardly. I really wanted him to follow me because we have a class on the same floor but he didn't. He walked all the way to the other stairs. Maybe he realized how much of a loser I am and gave up.
Another problem: he's grounded which means no Facebook, no texting.
just feel stupid...

All about Jake...

^Picture of Jackson Rathbone (JSYK)^

Jake.
I'm sure that you guys have noticed my new crush on 'Jake'. That is not his real name. I might say his real name if we...ya know....END UP TOGETHER! lol.
(I'm actually texting him as we speak)

The History.
I thought I should tell you guys a little back story. I've known Jake since the 6th grade when his little sister and my little cousin were in the pee-wee cheerleading together.

In the 7th grade when 'dating' became the new, awesome thing (of course no one knew what they were doing) . I thought he was cute (kinda reminded me of a darker haired Zac Efron). He went to homecoming with my friend Darlene.

In 8th grade we had an English class together and I used to run away from him in the hallway. Because I thought he was weird. He went out with Darlene again (before she dumped him for her ex). I talked to him a little more after that. He stopped talking to Darlene.
In 9th grade (this year). He randomly came up and hugged me (tightly and for a VERY long time). Ever since then I've been texting him.

The 6th graders and the creepers.
I've liked him more since he actually saw my cousin at a concert. She's a 6th grader and she and her friend were ALONE. Apparently "There was some creeper guys there talking to us." as my cousin put it. She told me "Then Jake told them to leave us alone...it was SO cool. Then he stayed with us for the rest of the concert....DONT TELL MY MOM I WAS THERE ALONE!"

After that my crush has become more dominate. I've been texting him constantly. Travy found out that I like him and threatens to tell Jake almost every day.

Today...
I looked SUPER bad (as in my hair looked awful, I broke out...I think it's my time of the month :/) ANYWAY! When school let out I was really hoping I wouldn't see him. I had made through the entire day without him seeing me like that I only needed a couple more steps to my mom's car. When I stepped outside I saw Jake walking a couple feet in front of me looking around (it was a lot earlier then he usually is out). I just prayed that he wouldn't turn around and see me. He pulled out his phone and began to text someone. My phone vibrated. It was a simple 'hey :)' Message. I walked to the car without him seeing me.
The text went like this:

Me:Hey
Him: What's up?
Him (a couple seconds later): I didn't see you at school today :/
Me: I think I saw you
Him: Why didn't you say Hi? D:
Me(lying again): You were far away
Him: Well then I'm finding you tomorrow.
Me: :)

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I MUST tell Maggie and Travy and my mum!

we're all just as sad as you think you are!

Nothing all that interesting happened today. But I must talk about one of my BIGGEST pet peeves: Complainers. To quote a song by NeverShoutNever:

"If you can do one whole thing I suggest you go out too. Because we're all just as sad as you think you are...so just smile."

There is a girl in my school that freaks out over nothing. Her boyfriend breaks up with her....it's the end of the world. She gets a C....it's the end of the world. She stubs her toe....it's the end of the world. And I roll my eyes every day when she comes in with something new to complain about.
Life is a very hard thing to deal with. You have to live for yourself but be for other people. You have to be a part of the world and at times you feel like you're losing yourself in the process. I believe that we're here for something more then just to 'reproduce' or whatever those hardheaded scientists say.

What I've learned about people is that they forget to notice some of the beautiful things in life. So next time you think about it; watch the sky until you see the first star. Notice a baby's laugh. Make an 11:11 wish. Notice a couple holding hands in the park. Watch the sun rise. Smell the winter air. Life is beauty and it's all around us. We just forget....

I'll admit that I'm kinda excited about getting out of the high school in a couple years but I also want to remember everything. I don't want it to go any faster then it is right now. These 4 years are going to fly by and friends will fade. Memories will too. I guess my point on writing these paragraphs is to convince people to stop stressing the little stuff. Because it's all about the big picture.

FUNNY STORY!

I was talking to my friend Ray in gym. She looks over my shoulder and says "Is Jimmy retarded?" she was being COMPLETELY serious. I turned around to look at Jimmy. He has he head on the ground and he's trying to do handstand (the entire time he's screaming loudly). I just laughed and said "Just a little..."

Goodnight (:

So I'm gonna go out of order on this post...today was crazy. B is actually dating the QUARTER BACK!!! But they're 'keeping it quiet'. When I first heard that I thought it was because HE was embarrassed of HER (it's mean I know). But she was the one who came up with the 'keeping it quiet'.
*RACISM ALERT*
It's because he's black. I know, I know *gasp *egad*. In case you guys forgot...I DO live in Texas. We're nice down here but there are certain groups of people that feel a way about interracial couples. B's parents are one of those. If they somehow find out they will be very angry.

Just to make it clear: I think racism is stupid and no one should be judged for the color of their skin.

On another note: The freaking school got hit by lightening! Yeah, I bet you've never heard that before. It set off the fire alarms and it took them 2 HOURS to turn them off. I was sitting in the hallway with my friend DeeDee and Andy with my ipod turned on full blast to block out the noise.

Remember when I was afraid that Travy liked me? Yeah, now I'm even more scared. Maggie went up to him and asked him if did. He said no of course. But then he asked me why she asked. He asked "Did you tell her to ask me?" I said "NO! Oh, god no!"....he looked sad....

AND THE BEST PART...

A couple of months ago I talked to Jake and he said quote: "If a guy REALLY likes a girl, he'll text her goodnight and good morning." Last night exactly at 8:58 p.m. I received a 'Goodnight (:' text. At exactly 7:22 a.m. I got a 'Morning :)' text.

WHAT A SWEETHEART!

Way WAY over due. (((SHOCKING POST)))

I missed school today (who has Halloween on a Sunday anyway?) so I'm writing this blog. There is TONS of things that happened since I last typed. It's actually crazy that so much can happen in a month. So lets start on the basics:

What happened in October.

Crushes ended:I stopped crushing on Scott because he got a very slutty girlfriend. The crush ended the day before they actually went out.
I don't like Todd anymore ((dum, dum, DUM)) I warned you that this post was going to be shocking!! Yeah the crush has been fading after a while. Then on Friday it just hit rock bottom and I don't care anymore.

Crushes started: B now has a crush on the star quaterback and swears that they are going to date. I'm afraid she's going to get her heart broken.

Travy likes me. He admitted that he thought I was so likable and beautiful and all this stuff. It's sweet but....EWWWW it's TRAVY! That's just gross I'm sorry. But I don't want to break his little, chubby heart.

I LIKE SOMEONE NEW (More info later and there WILL be info.)

My cousin grew up?: My little cousin is now in the 'emo phase' and she's making friends....THAT GO TO MY SCHOOL! She's talking to creepy Henderson (a kid who cuts himself in class and is the MOST ANNOYING PERSON THE PLANET) who is 15. Remember that my little cousin just turned 12 and is in the 6TH GRADE! He's flirting with her and she's flirting back because 1.He's emo and 2.She's never met him before because if she did she would hate him and 3. He kind of looks like the guy off of the book 'A diary of a Wimpy Kid'. As one of my friends described it to a teacher "HE CUTS HIMSELF FOR FUN, MISS!" I understand that maybe he has mental issues but issues or not he's not ruining my cousins chances of being happy. Oh-no.

AND she went to a Rob Zombie concert ALONE with one of her friends. My friend Jake *hint, hint on the crush thing* saw her there. He said that he saw these creepy guys surrounding them and kind of fought them off. (He knows my cousin because his little cousin and mine were on the same cheerleading squad before she turned all emo) . I was SO happy Jake was there, he stayed with them the entire concert :)
he's a sweet heart....

(More to come)