Watch it!

My favorite song with some of my favorite people. I SPENT ALL NIGHT ON THIS SO PLEASE WATCH IT!!!!

Here we go again!

So it's been a couple days since I've posted.

In those couple of days I met a guy.

I know what ya'll are thinking...

I made a commitment to myself to stay single for a while... I don't need a boyfriend constantly. I just bounce back very quickly. So don't think that I'm obsessed with boys because I'm not!!!

But recently I met this guy named Clayton.

Okay so I know Clayton is not a very attractive name. And honestly, he's not a very attractive boy at first glance. He's a proud member of the redneck clan. He lives on a strong diet of Buffalo Wild Wings and country music. He always has a toothpick in his mouth and a baseball hat on his head. And it's been said that he slightly resembles a younger Jason Aldean.

Jason! :]

How did I meet him? Good question blog reader!

My friend Demi is 'dating' his friend KJ. Who came over to her house the same day that I was spending the night. KJ brought his friend Clayton who I thought was the funniest guy on the planet. The next night, I had to go somewhere else and my friend Victoria spent the night at Demi's. KJ came over and so did Clayton.

A couple days went by when I was hanging out with Victoria.

"Clayton has a big thing for you." She admitted randomly.

Apparently, the night that I wasn't at Demi's, I came up in conversation. Clayton got very shy and blushy when Demi and Victoria started talking about me. They were kidding around about how Clayton and I would be a cute couple. When he said :

"Yeah, but I don't like Cassidy."

And KJ looked over at him and yelled "You lie!"

At the time I thought that story was so funny. A couple days later it came down to KJ forcing me to text Clayton because he couldn't get over his ex girlfriend. KJ told me that his ex still texts him every now and then about her new boyfriend.

A week later, Clayton invited me to the dirttrack races.

We went to the races on Saturday. He took me and my friend Demi. He sat and explained everything to us. We hung out with all of his friends and laughed all night long. He even randomly started holding my hand.

When the races were over he convinced Demi to ride home in Stoney's truck. He said it was because he hadn't had his lisence for very long and he didn't want to get caught with more than one person in the truck... I think he did it so that he could be alone with me.

He held my hand the entire ride home.

I think I'm beginning to like him...

But I made a commitment to myself to stay single.



"You will be naked for an enternity..."

"I was naked for a day. But you will be naked for an enternity."- That is a quote is from a writer in one of my favorite movies called 'A Knights Tale'.

As most of you may know, I love to write. Stories, blogs, novels...etc. When I am older I plan on being an author. My favorite thing about being a writer is taking the people that are in my life and putting them into my stories. Whether they be good or bad. It makes the characters more believeable.

As most of you may know, I loved Ben. Even though he was a disgusting, egotistical, selfish, lying, scum bag.

As most of you may not know, Ben gave me mono one month before he dumped me.

And as most of you definitely do not know, he cheated on me with this disgusting Harlet. Twice! And the second time he caught mono. Then he gave it to me. Then he dumped me before I could figure it all out.

So yes, Benjamin is a complete and total a**hole who didn't deserve a second of my time.

And I can't wait for the day when karma bites him right in the butt.

Until that happens, I will make sure to keep a note of him in my mind. He might've embarrassed me and he might've hurt me. But so help me I will embarrass and hurt him for the rest of his life. With every book I write. There will be a Ben. Somewhere.



The test.

Saturday night was probably one of the worst nights of my life.

On Saturday night , I literally laid in my bed and cried my eyes out for hours. I didn't sleep that night at all. That was the night when I realized that I honestly need serious help.

After Ben broke up with me, every night I would go through a wave of depression that was almost crippling. When I talked to my mom about it she just assured me that it was my brokenheart and in time I would get over it. All day I would be fine but as soon as that sun set... my mood dramatically shifted. And it wasn't because I thought of Ben. I was just depressed for no reason at all.

Sometimes, my sadness is almost unbearable.

Saturday my world came crashing down when there was drama in my family, I was rejected, my parents threatened divorce, and I found out that Ben cheated on me.

That's an awful lot to take in one night, isn't it?

I thought so too.

And for the past couple of days I've been bawling my eyes out, wondering why all this was happening to me. That was when I had the thought that no one was ever really supposed to be happy in life... I haven't been legitimately happy for quite a while. I thought that God made us so unhappy so that we would turn to him in our times of need.

I'm in need right now and it kind of feels like God's not even paying attention.

But I have to remember that He is testing me. And whatever He's doing in my life, He's doing it because he loves me.

My week has just really sucked so far.