Mr.Freeze

In sighing breaths and hidden tears, I laugh just so you think that I'm okay. So you won't worry your head about what is going through mine. On a good day; I can be perfect. On a bad day; not so much. But everyday inbetween; I try so very hard to be what you need me to be. I sit and wonder how a heart so cold can keep you alive. Broken so many times, it's just frozen in your chest. Sometimes you treat people with the same cold blood that flows through your veins. I guess it's my turn...

I remember the words you said almost like it was yesterday "You'll get tired of me one day..."

No, I'm staying until you freeze me to death.

What happened with Danny...What happened with Ben!

Finally, I'm going to tell you what happened with Danny. The reason why I haven't told you guys about it yet is because, it kind of hurt too much to write down. He did break my heart. But now that I've had sometime to sit and think about it, I realized that I really didn't love that boy! He was annoying and clingly, and not to mention that he was the most awkward person on this planet! But I did give that boy 6 months of my life...

What happened was: that last month we were dating was complete hell. He just stopped trying . I would try to talk to him, text him, etc. and he just stopped replying. So finally I did too. One night he called me on the phone (while he was at his friend Ben's house-that's important) and he broke up with me. I was devestaded and I cried for 3 hours straight. Mom gave me a sleeping pill and said "Don't take him back if he asks." I listened to her and laid down and finally fell asleep... 2 HOURS LATER I wake up to a call from Danny, and he was begging me to take him back. Disregarding my mother, I took him back.

He came over to my house the next day, and then broke up with me again. "WHAT A DOUCHE!!!" I know that's what you were thinking. And yes, that was an extremely douchy thing to do. I cussed him out and got all of my anger out of the way. And we went to 'friend' standards, I guess... I later found out that he broke up with me for another girl named Dakota AND he lied and told all of his friends that he fingered me. (sorry, I know that was gross to hear) WHICH HE DID NOT!!!

3 months later, I go on Ben's Facebook profile and saw that some guy was yelling at him for something. I sent him a message, asking if everything was alright. We had a nice conversation, he asked for my number, AND...now we've been dating for 2 months. I know what you're thinking, it is kind of uncool that I'm dating one of his friends. But honestly, I'm happy with Ben and I'm not just dating him to get at Danny. I'm WAAAAY happier with Ben then I am with Danny. Goes to show, that you never know what life will throw at you.

Life moves on. And people change...

In the time where I wasnt writing I've learned many things about life and people, including myself. Like the fact that I am beyond clumsy and I will never be an acrobat in the circus (you have no idea how crushing that was for me). Or that fact that self-confidence comes from with-in and not from how many compliments you recieve. I've learned that there's more to life than Facebook and high school, and that good grades are the only way to get my ass out of this town. I've learned that sometimes cussing is necessary for the situation (like what I just showed you). And that God puts every single person in your life, for a reason. It doesn't matter if you love this person, or hate their guts! They're there for a reason.

I'll post a little update about the things going on in my life now: I just got my drivers permit and I will be driving in July. I have a new boyfriend named BEN (post later). I'm currently looking for colleges that I would like to apply for, and careers I might be interested in (I'm thinking about either archeology, or going to aviation school. Along with being an autor of course). I'm getting an XBox360 for my birthday in April (I know that's probably not so important but I don't care, I'm excited about it). I'm losing weight so that I can get a belly button ring. And I'm currently attempting to write 3 books at the moment. WILL POST MORE LATER I PROMISE!!!

The misadventures of Lance.

It's been a while since I posted last, and one of my last post was about Lance. That name feels so foreign to type now because he is definitely a thing of the past. The story of me and Lance was a short and easy one: We texted constantly, he never made a move, I questioned whether or not he liked me, he never replied, and he started talking to another girl named Carly. Carly is a hardcore druggie, doesn't take baths, and her mother is in jail for tying Carly's father to a bed and leaving him there to die...But honestly, I like Carly's style, because the day Lance rejected me for her, she decided that she didn't want him anymore. Oh, how karma sucks. I win.:]

Do you remember me?

Do you remember me? I haven't written in what seems like forever!!! There has just been so many distractions. If it isn't school, it's friends. If it isn't friends, it's boys. If it isn't boys, it's Facebook. That's no excuse to leave you guys out in the cold. So, I promise that I AM writing more. So today will be my make-up day. This is a day where I'm just going to post blogs about the things that you have missed. And oh how you have missed a lot....