THE SCARIEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE: Ghost Adventure Time.

It all started when I walked into 5th period and Sam came up to me and asked, "Cassidy, do you want to go on an adventure?!"

 I don't know if I have mentioned Sam before in this blog but I first met him in the 8th grade, when he got up in the middle of class and shouted "You stole Christmas!" at our teacher. After that moment, I decided that he would be a great friend to keep around. Needless to say, Sam is probably the strangest guy I know but he's also the most honest and respectful person I have ever met.

"Heck yeah!" I said, thinking that he was kidding.

"No I'm being serious!" Sam said, "You. Me. My girlfried. Jake... and some other people so it doesn't feel so awkward! We're going to go on an adventure. You down?" He asked.

"Sure," I said. I figured that since I was trying to live my life to the fullest; this was a great way to start.

Skip to a couple hours later (at 9 o'clock) Tori and I were waiting outside for Sam to pull up to my house. When he got there we jumped in and drove away. It turned out that Jake couldn't go so Sam invited his friends Chris and Courtney (Sam calls her Curtis). We ended up sitting in Sam's car for 3 hours waiting for Chris's dad to go to sleep so that he could sneak out (I felt like such a rebel).

Sam drives an SUV. Sam was in the driver's seat, Tori was in the passanger, I was in the back on the far left, Courtney was in the middle, and Chris was on the right holding his guitar. Remember that he brought a guitar because it's kind of important. Sam drove us out of the town and down this country road. We went straight for what seemed to be forever, and the trees that surrounded the road seemed to get darker and darker. Sam suddenly turned left and that's when I felt it...

As he pulled over a bridge I felt the tingle in my spine and the air got heavy. I had the beating paranoia that someone was watching me and did not want me there. "How do ya'll feel?" Sam asked as he pulled to the side of the road, and that's when I realized that this was the 'haunted place' he was talking about.

 "I feel like I'm about to pee my pants..." Tori said.

"The air feels heavy." Courtney said from beside me.

"I feel like someone's watching me.." I whispered.
"I feel like going home!" Chris laughed. 

This road that we were parked on was in the middle of the woods. Sam then turned off the headlights and we all sat in complete darkness. The feeling in my spine got stronger and stronger and was almost unbearable. Outside the windows, it was pitch black and the only faint light was from the moon shining through the trees. I couldn't tear my eyes off of the window next to me because I was convinced that something was out there staring at me.

"So do you guys want to get out?" Sam asked.

"No!"

"No."

"Nooo..."

I thought about it for a second, "I'll do it."

 but I ended up getting scared and I couldn't get out of the car.

Chris was sitting in the backseat playing his guitar and singing, "Dear ghost, please don't kill me. I have a wife and family."

Chris said that he kept hearing a jingle sound. Like a DOGs collar. 

Sam ended up driving us to the edge of the woods until we reached a pet cemetery. The feeling was gone in all of us so we all got out of the car this time. The pet cemetery was around 30 graves surrounded by a chain link fence. Outside of the fence was the woods, the trees circled the cemetery at least 50 feet away. As we walked into the cemetery (being very careful to not step on the graves) I felt fine, at peace but something in me urged me to go to the trees that circled us I walked out of the fence first and Sam complimented my courage and compared me to Jake.

There was a trail that led to the trees and as we all walked together, with Chris playing the guitar, we could feel the air steadily getting colder. It felt as if it were winter (bare in mind that we live in Texas, and it was 90 degrees that afternoon). Courtney stopped suddenly and said that she couldn't go any farther because she was feeling dizzy the closer she got. Chris turned on his phone and Sam warned him not to do that. Chris stayed with Courtney but Sam, Tori, and I kept walking. The air suddenly felt warm and we were around 20 feet from the trees. I was kidding around with them and we were having a normal conversation. When we reached 10 feet from the trees Sam and Tori stopped, but I kept walking (don't ask me why). As I stood 3 feet away from the trees I looked up at the canopy of leaves on top of me and through the darkness of the trees in front of me. Everything was suddenly freezing, worst then it had been before. Chris was tuning his guitar behind us. Sam was standing 5 feet behind me.

 I stared forward as I said, "I feel like I'm in the Blair Witch Project." 

And that's when I heard it:

"Ya'll shouldn't be here." The voice said from right in from of me.

I let out a loud scream. Sam yelled a curse word. And we all began to sprint back to the car. Chris and Tori were in front. Sam was behind them. Courtney behind him and I was in the back. I don't exactly remember thinking about it but I remember thinking that I needed to get out of there. I've never ran so fast in my life.

As we got into the car everyone was out of breath.

Chris said, "Where are we going?!"

Sam yelled, "The F**K out of here!" he said he hit the gas and started backing up.

I stared at the trees as Sam shined the headlights there for a moment but saw no one.

We sat in Sam's car as we all discussed what had happened. We were all pale and shaking because we had just witnessed a paranormal thing. Sam had heard the same thing that I did and described the voice perfectly. It wasn't a bad voice, it was calm. It was like an older woman of 60. It was very normal as if it were a teacher scolding you. And the voice was so...clear... so real!

Chris said that as we were running he heard the jingling sound behind him, chasing him for a couple of feet before stopping. We all sat and tried to calm down but we couldn't help it. My mom had texted me 20 times but I hadn't recieved any messages because the cemetary is out in the middle of no where. And she was unusally scared for my safety. When I got home and told her the story, she had admitted that she felt that for some reason that I was unsafe....



HOWS THAT FOR A GHOST STORY?!?!?!

I'm going to start living my life!

I realized that I'm done living this medicore life! I'm going to live my life to the fullest. And what is always the best way to figure out answers? GOOGLE! Here's a list of things I found to do to help live life to the fullest:

Love. Perhaps the most important. Fall in love, if you aren't already. If you have, fall in love with your partner all over again. Abandon caution and let your heart be broken. Or love family members, friends, anyone -- it doesn't have to be romantic love. Love all of humanity, one person at a time.

Get outside. Don't let yourself be shut indoors. Go out when it's raining. Walk on the beach. Hike through the woods. Swim in a freezing lake. Bask in the sun. Play sports, or walk barefoot through grass. Pay close attention to nature.

Savor food. Don't just eat your food, but really enjoy it. Feel the texture, the bursts of flavors. Savor every bite. If you limit your intake of sweets, it will make the small treats you give yourself (berries or dark chocolate are my favorites) even more enjoyable. And when you do have them, really, really savor them. Slowly.

Create a morning ritual. Wake early and greet the day. Watch the sun rise. Out loud, tell yourself that you will not waste this day, which is a gift. You will be compassionate to your fellow human beings, and live every moment to its fullest. Stretch or meditate or exercise as part of your ritual. Enjoy some coffee.

Take chances. We often live our lives too cautiously, worried about what might go wrong. Be bold, risk it all. Quit your job and go to business for yourself (plan it out first!), or go up to that girl you've liked for a long time and ask her out. What do you have to lose?

Follow excitement. Try to find the things in life that excite you, and then go after them. Make life one exciting adventure after another (with perhaps some quiet times in between).
Find your passion. Similar to the above tip, this one asks you to find your calling. Make your living by doing the thing you love to do. First, think about what you really love to do. There may be many things. Find out how you can make a living doing it. It may be difficult, but you only live once.

Get out of your cubicle. Do you sit all day in front of computer, shuffling papers and taking phone calls and chatting on the Internet? Don't waste your days like this. Break free from the cubicle environment, and do your work on a laptop, in a coffee shop, or on a boat, or in a log cabin. This may require a change of jobs, or becoming a freelancer. It's worth it.
Turn off the TV. How many hours will we waste away in front of the boob tube? How many hours do we have to live? Do the math, then unplug the TV. Only plug it back in when you have a DVD of a movie you love. Otherwise, keep it off and find other stuff to do. Don't know what to do? Read further.
Pull away from Internet. You're reading something on the Internet right now. And, with the exception of this article, it is just more wasting away of your precious time. You cannot get these minutes back. Unplug the Internet, then get out of your office or house. Right now! And go and do something.

Travel. Sure, you want to travel some day. When you have vacation time, or when you're older. Well, what are you waiting for? Find a way to take a trip, if not this month, then sometime soon. You may need to sell your car or stop your cable bill and stop eating out to do it, but make it happen. You are too young to not see the world. If need be, find a way to make a living by freelancing, then work while you travel. Only work an hour or two a day. Don't check email but once a week. Then use the rest of the time to see the world.

Rediscover what's important. Take an hour and make a list of everything that's important to you. Add to it everything that you want to do in life. Now cut that list down to 4-5 things. Just the most important things in your life. This is your core list. This is what matters. Focus your life on these things. Make time for them.

Eliminate everything else. What's going on in your life that's not on that short list? All that stuff is wasting your time, pulling your attention from what's important. As much as possible, simplify your life by eliminating the stuff that's not on your short list, or minimizing it.

Exercise. Get off the couch and go for a walk. Eventually try running. Or do some push ups and crunches. Or swim or bike or row. Or go for a hike. Whatever you do, get active, and you'll love it. And life will be more alive.

Be positive. Learn to recognize the negative thoughts you have. These are the self-doubts, the criticisms of others, the complaints, the reasons you can't do something. Then stop yourself when you have these thoughts, and replace them with positive thoughts. Solutions. You can do this!

Open your heart. Is your heart a closed bundle of scar tissue? Learn to open it, have it ready to receive love, to give love unconditionally. If you have a problem with this, talk to someone about it. And practice makes perfect.

Kiss in the rain. Seize the moment and be romantic. Raining outside? Grab your lover and give her a passionate kiss. Driving home? Stop the car and pick some wildflowers. Send her a love note. Dress sexy for him.

Face your fears. What are you most afraid of? What is holding you back? Whatever it is, recognize it, and face it. Do what you are most afraid of. Afraid of heights? Go to the tallest building, and look down over the edge. Only by facing our fears can we be free of them.
When you suffer, suffer. Life isn't all about fun and games. Suffering is an inevitable part of life. We lose our jobs. We lose our lovers. We lose our pets. We get physically injured or sick. A loved one becomes sick. A parent dies. Learn to feel the pain intensely, and really grieve. This is a part of life -- really feel the pain. And when you're done, move on, and find joy.

Slow down. Life moves along at such a rapid pace these days. It's not healthy, and it's not conducive to living. Practice doing everything slowly -- everything, from eating to walking to driving to working to reading. Enjoy what you do. Learn to move at a snail's pace.

Touch humanity. Get out of your house and manicured neighborhoods, and find those who live in worse conditions. Meet them, talk to them, understand them. Live among them. Be one of them. Give up your materialistic lifestyle.

Volunteer. Help at homeless soup kitchens. Learn compassion, and learn to help ease the suffering of others. Help the sick, those with disabilities, those who are dying.
Play with children. Children, more than anyone else, know how to live. They experience everything in the moment, fully. When they get hurt, they really cry. When they play, they really have fun. Learn from them, instead of thinking you know so much more than them. Play with them, and learn to be joyful like them.
Talk to old people. There is no one wiser, more experienced, more learned, than those who have lived through life. They can tell you amazing stories. Give you advice on making a marriage last or staying out of debt. Tell you about their regrets, so you can learn from them and avoid the same mistakes. They are the wisdom of our society -- take advantage of their existence while they're still around.
Learn new skills. Constantly improve yourself instead of standing still -- not because you're so imperfect now, but because it is gratifying and satisfying. You should accept yourself as you are, and learn to love who you are, but still try to improve -- if only because the process of improvement is life itself.

Find spirituality. For some, this means finding God or Jesus or Allah or Buddha. For others, this means becoming in tune with the spirits of our ancestors, or with nature. For still others, this just means an inner energy. Whatever spirituality means for you, rediscover it, and its power.
Take mini-retirements. Don't leave the joy of retirement until you are too old to enjoy it. Do it now, while you're young. It makes working that much more worth it. Find ways to take a year off every few years. Save up, sell your home, your possessions, and travel. Live simply, but live, without having to work. Enjoy life, then go back to work and save up enough money to do it again in a couple of years.

Do nothing. Despite the tip above that we should find excitement, there is value in doing nothing as well. Not doing nothing as in reading, or taking a nap, or watching TV, or meditating. Doing nothing as in sitting there, doing nothing. Just learning to be still, in silence, to hear our inner voice, to be in tune with life. Do this daily if possible.
Stop playing video games. They might be fun, but they can take up way too much time. If you spend a lot of time playing online games, or computer solitaire, or Wii or Gameboy or whatever, consider going a week without it. Then find something else to do, outside.

Watch sunsets, daily. One of the most beautiful times of day. Make it a daily ritual to find a good spot to watch the sunset, perhaps having a light dinner while you do so.

Stop reading magazines. They're basically crap. And they waste your time and money. Cancel your subscriptions and walk past them at the news stands. If you have to read something, read a trashy novel or even better, read Dumb Little Man once a day and be done.

Break out out from ruts. Do you do things the same way every day? Change it up. Try something new. Take a different route to work. Start your day out differently. Approach work from a new angle. Look at things from new perspectives.

Stop watching the news. It's depressing and useless. If you're a news junky, this may be difficult. I haven't watch TV news or read a newspaper regularly in about two years. It hasn't hurt me a bit. Anything important, my mom tells me about.

Laugh till you cry. Laughing is one of the best ways to live. Tell jokes and laugh your head off. Watch an awesome comedy. Learn to laugh at anything. Roll on the ground laughing. You'll love it.

Lose control. Not only control over yourself, but control over others. It's a bad habit to try to control others -- it will only lead to stress and unhappiness for yourself and those you try to control. Let others live, and live for yourself. And lose control of yourself now and then too.

Cry. Men, especially, tend to hold in our tears, but crying is an amazing release. Cry at sad movies. Cry at a funeral. Cry when you are hurt, or when somebody you love is hurt. It releases these emotions and allows us to cleanse ourselves.

Make an awesome dessert. I like to make warm, soft chocolate cake. But even berries dipped in chocolate, or crepes with ice cream and fruit, or fresh apple pie, or homemade chocolate chip cookies or brownies, are great. This isn't an every day thing, but an occasional treat thing. But it's wonderful.

Try something new, every week. Ask yourself: "What new thing shall I try this week?" Then be sure to do it. You don't have to learn a new language in one week, but seek new experiences. Give it a try. You might decide you want to keep it in your life.


Be in the moment. Instead of thinking about things you need to do, or things that have happened to you, or worrying or planning or regretting, think about what you are doing, right now. What is around you? What smells and sounds and sights and feelings are you experiencing? Learn to do this as much as possible through meditation, but also through bringing your focus back to the present as much as you can in everything you do.

Life right now...

Life is pretty much sucking right now. I've been complaining so much right now and I'm sure that my friends are tired of hearing it... so I'll post it on here! Ya'll are just the ears I need for this post:

1. PMS SUUUUUCCCCKS!
2. I WANT TO DATE COREY- Gosh I want to be with him so bad. I feel like such a brat for saying that but everytime I see him I just want to kiss him! Plus, the fact that he's being stand off-ish now is making me want to date him even more (playing hard to get really does work). Of course, him being stand off-ish around me is probably a sign that he doesn't like me anymore.
3. JAKE IS BACK- do you remember Jake? The guy I had a big crush on last year that ended up blowing me off. Well, he's back in my life again and he's been pushing his way in closer every day. Honestly, I don't like this boy at all... but he likes me now (where was he freshman year?). And he doesn't understand why I won't date him (look back at number 2 for the reason).
4. I HAVE TO GO TO SATURDAY SCHOOL- Sucks, huh? I got waaay too many absences this year so I will have to serve them in Saturday school this weekend and the next week after that. FUN.FUN.FUN.

Honestly, I'm depressed right now and all I want to do is take a nap. The sucky part about the nap is that I have to wake up tomorrow and deal with this all over again: Corey ignoring me, fighting period cramps, avoiding Jake in the hallway, and doing piles of homework..

Sock curling?? Whhhhaaa!

I'm so going to so this tonight! I mean, it makes your hear SUPER curly and frizzy but this is too awesome to pass up. Watch this tutorial:

Ah, Corey.

So did you see that uber depressing thing I posted earlier? 'What were you thinking'

Click here to read it!

I posted that because Corey had sent me a message that said: Sorry for not replying. I'm not trying to ignore you. I'm just evaluating my feelings right now. I don't want to do the wrong thing.

That's enough to discourage anyone isn't it? When I read that I got all depressed and junk because I thought that was his way of rejecting me and that nothing was ever going to be normal between us. But then I thought about it; who cares if nothing changes?! There's nothing wrong with what me and Corey have going on now. Just friends is fine with me as long as he's in my life. But I'm still not sure that was his way of' 'rejecting' me because on Saturday he begged me to go see the Avengers with him (and our friend Megan of course). The Avengers ended up being closed so we went bowling instead. We went to go get food (Megan pigged out on everyone's french fries) and hid from the storm. It was a great time!

Corey dropped Megan off at her house, then started driving towards mine when the song 'Sexy and I Know It' started playing through the radio. Corey then decides that this is a great time to throw his hands off the wheel and start dancing! He then shouted "Jesus, take the wheel!" so I reached over and started steering the car all the way back to my house while he was shaking his 'money maker'. We got to my house he proceeded to scream at me and tell me to get out (just kidding, of course).

I don't know if we're just friends or what... oh well:)

Mom.

I love my mom so much and I am so freaking lucky to have her in my life. I truly am. She is my best friend and I can tell her anything. She's helped me through so much; every heartbreak, every fight, every tear, every medical problem...and she reminds me that it's important to stay strong. She has been through so much in her life but she still treats every day like it's a gift. My mom puts 100% into every single thing she does. She is probably the strongest woman I have met. She has no idea how much she means to me.


Make sure to make a mother feel special this holiday!:)

What were you thinking?

Seriously, what were you thinking? A nice boy with a cute smile and nice sense of humor liking YOU? Is there something wrong with you Cassidy? What were you thinking? What could've possibly make you believe that you could deserve such a thing...



I hate my life. 

Lady Ballz!

I did it guys! I finally told Corey my true feelings...

I bet you don't believe me but I did it! I guess I've just grown too impatient to sit around and wonder about what could've been. So I... Cassidy admitted my feelings for him. AND IM HAVING A FREAKING ADRENALINE RUSH! I want to go out and admit my true feelings to everyone! Do you want to know how I did it? Well, I did it through text message:

"I like you, like more than a friend. I know that you might not like me too and that things probably won't change after I send this but I just wanted to let you know."

Yeah, that is a straight quote. He replied around an hour later that said:

"That's quite a bold statement, little lady. I liked that."

WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?! I mean, DUH that was a bold statement!!!!! I JUST ADMITTED MY FEELINGS FOR YOU DUMB DUMB! I replied:

"Haha I'm glad. Well I wanted to tell you that for quite a while."

He asked:

"Why would you want to date a dorky, weird, douche bag?"

My reply:

"You make me smile...more than anyone else. And you're nice and different and freaking hilarious. Sometimes I wish I could be more like you. And you're not a douche bag! You may be dorky, and you may be weird but you're not a douche."

He hasn't replied to that yet but Corey never replies to texts. I'm just proud of myself because I had the lady ballz to do that. Corey and I might not go anywhere from here, and if we don't I'll be okay with that. I just couldn't stand another day without him knowing. I'm going to start living this whole YOLO lifestyle (except I'm cutting out the drugs and alcohol). I'm going to be less hesitant and live every day like it's my last.

YOU. ONLY. LIVE. ONCE.

Sometimes...

Sometimes I'm EXTREMELY happy that I'm single. But sometimes , I see all the cute couples in the hallway.... and I want that. I want to hold hands with someone in the hallway. I want someone to drive me home from school everyday and kiss me goodbye. I want to go to prom with him. I want someone to stay on the phone with for hours. Someone to  around with and dance in my kitchen. I want to fight ghosts. I was to sneak out and stare up at the sky. I want to post cute pictures on Facebook with sappy captions...

But I'm totally glad to be single....

I'm baaaaaaccccckkk!

Alright, I'm sorry but my computer has been broken for the longest time so I couldn't post any updates. Let's see...Ben dumped me on Easter. He said it was because he was going to college and that he just wanted to be single. So right now I'm still at that stage where I hate him and I'm convinced that he's the worst boyfriend ever. It still kind of hurts so I'm not going to post much about it......STUPID DOUCHE BAG...oh sorry...I realized how stupid I was for not dumping Ben for Corey. In the past couple of weeks my feelings have grown so much for my best-friend.

The Bonfire Party.
A couple of days before Ben broke up with me Corey call me inviting me to a Bonfire at his house. Even though it's Texas and at that time it was WAAAY too hot to have a bonfire; it was a stupid idea. I had been crying all day long so I didn't want him to see me like that. Our phone conversation went like this:
Corey: "Would you like to come to a bonfire?"
Cassidy: "I-I don't know..."
Corey: "Please?"
Cassidy: "No I-"
Corey: "Forget it, I'll ask Tori instead!"
*click*

That jerk totally told me that he was going to invite another girl and hung up on me! I was so pissed! Until around 5 minutes later when he called me again:
Corey: "Tori said she would coming....now will you go if she does?"
Cassidy: "Sure." *blushing*
The bonfire was reeeally fun! It was full of a bunch of red necks (those are always fun to hang out with). One red neck was named Stoney (yes, that is his real name. No, he is not a stoner) and he is literally the funniest guy I have ever met! Me, Tori, and Demi were the only girls there. We all danced by the fire and talked. We had so much fun and there were no drugs or alcohol. Corey made me laugh so much and gave me a piggy back ride across the field by his house. All of his friends at the party thought we were dating. A couple days later he sent me a message that said:

"You are beautiful. You are amazing. And when all else fails, you're the only one that can make me smile."

Scarbourough Faire.
Corey and I went to Scarbourough Faire along with a CBI class for a field trip. (if you don't know: CBI can also be called the 'special ed' classes). We were in a group together with 2 guys named Zach and Taylor. Zach is kind of normal, you would never be able to tell that he was in those classes. Taylor was mostly normal as well (except that he is 15 years old and he's 4 feet tall). We had a great time walking around and playing games. Zach mentioned once that any boy that would date me would be a 'very lucky boy'. And Corey said:

"Yeah, that's what the last one said..."

So I made sure to slap him for that one.

At the faire, there is a game where you pay 5 dollars to sword fight your friends. We all decided to get in there and battle eachother. The first to get out was Zach. When he left, I noticed that we were creating a crowd. Taylor and Corey both teamed up on me as people screamed "Get the girl! Get the girl!" so I was out.

At that moment I saw Corey do the cutest thing I have ever seen in my entire life! Since Corey is 6 feet tall and Taylor is only 4- Corey got down on his knees to battle Taylor! IT WAS SO FREAKING SWEET AND CUTE AT THE SAME TIME. At that moment I just wanted to marry him! Corey ended up winning the fight though.

Demi's Party!
Demi had a party on Friday. Again, there were no drugs or alcohol there. The only people that came were Tori, Megan, Stoney, Sam, Corey, and me. It was a pool party with a radio blasting a LOTS of food. When Corey, Sam, and Stoney got to the house we ate SO MUCH pizza. Corey sprinted towards the pool, ripped his shirt off and jumped in the pool. Stoney followed after him with a cannon ball. Tori and Megan egged me to jump go in so I took my clothes off (I was wearing my swimming suit underneath, js) and started walking towards the pool. I was feeling so insecure because it was the first time I had been in a bikini around guys. As I walked towards the pool Corey said:

"Mmmm...Cassidy..." in a joking tone.

I immediately covered myself up with my arms and began backing away. When suddenly I felt someone picking me up. Sam held me in his arms as he ran towards the pool and threw me in.

The rest of the time in the pool was awesome! We played tons of games (like marco polo and chicken). In chicken I ended up on Corey's shoulders and that was slightly awkward, so I got on Tori's shoulder's instead ;)

There was a sudden thunderstorm so we had to get out of the pool. We all stood outside and watched the sky. Demi's mom was scared to death so she went and hid in the bathtub. Demi, Megan, and Stoney ended up staying inside. While Tori, Sam, Me and Corey sat outside and talked about everything. Sam is such an deep thinker.

Eventually, we all ended up inside watching scary movies. Demi's house was flipping freezing so we all ended up cuddling with eachother. Guess who I ended up with! Corey of course :P Tori ended up with Sam and Stoney  got Demi and Megan. He described our cuddle partners as this:
"Sam has Tori. Corey has Cassidy. And I got these two b*tches." He meant it in a totally funny and non offensive way.

I have a lot of good memories with him...I just don't know if we're ever going to go anywhere.